I talked to Ryu who has been a faithful commenter and friend since I started this blog.  He was shocked I had deleted all my posts.

It WAS a rash thing to do.  A blog isn’t just for the world, it’s for me.  It’s a record of my thoughts, adventures and achievements.  I should keep it.  I have restored everything.  I may sanitize a couple of posts so I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings but I have to stand by what I said.  Thank you Ryu for caring about my little blog.

I HAVE had mixed feelings about the people I have met while being homeless.  WHO HASN’T?  People always say not to judge but we all do it every day.  I’ll bet some of the people who don’t want to be judged look at me and think I’m fat.  Or that my hair would look better a different way.  Or maybe they think I’m stuck up (I’m just shy).

I shouldn’t apologize for hating drug abuse and mental illness.  Does anyone like these things?  Many (not all) of the people that are on the street are there because they have burned their bridges so badly, no one, even their families want to help them.  So why should I like being around them?  I care for some of them…some more than others, but that doesn’t mean I like everything they do.  They probably don’t want to be around me much either.  I have been told I look like a social worker…not too many on the street want to be around those!

I HAVE met some really nice people though that I have thought of as friends.  B who I met in the soup kitchen is always super helpful telling me where different places are where I can eat on weekends or whatever.  She also has other good tips.  E who is a new friend with a sweet disposition and always a flower in her hair.  K who is a sweetheart I always like to see.  And E with her precious daughter!  What a bright spot it is in my day when I run into them!  Oh and M who let us sleep in The Colony.

Now Debra, I had a bad vibe on her the moment I met her.  My X boyfriend never liked her either.  She uses flattery and stuff to ingratiate herself but I saw right through that old trick.  I felt sorry for her though.  She is so alone in the world and she is not a young woman.  I tried to be kind to her, letting her stay overnight with me when I had a place to sleep in.  I even introduced her to one of my best friends, C.  C would let Debra sleep over at her house once in a while and C would make one of her delicious, organic gourmet dinners and serve it on her best china.  She offered her nice wine to drink out of pretty goblets.  She knew Debra liked the finer things and that it was a reprieve for Debra to be in a different environment, away from the people I’m not supposed to talk bad about.

C did this out of pure-hearted love.  That is why I am most angry at Debra.  She went to C a couple of weeks ago (again) desperate to borrow money to buy gas for her cars so she could go to her doctor’s appointments.  She wanted $20 worth of gas.  C filled her tank ($58) and Debra promised to pay her back.  THEN she refused to pay it back and tried to make C feel like a bad person over it.  Grrrrrr.  How could she be such an ungrateful wretch!!!

Now Debra has latched herself onto J.  I really like J with his little puppy.  J works very hard and now apparently Debra is mooching off him.  Wake up J!  She’s gonna burn you!

So, if the people I know actually read this blog, they are really going to be inside my head.  That will feel a little strange.  Who knows though, maybe they will actually like my writing and come back for more.

The worse thing that will happen is that someone will kill me over it.  That probably won’t happen but if it does, I am ready to meet my maker.  He forgives my transgressions and I look forward to seeing Him when he wants to take me.

I think most people will lose interest very easily.  I actually think this blog has been pretty boring for most.  I don’t have a lot of readers.  So most of the homeless folk I know will lose interest pretty quickly.

Debra you are trying to destroy me but that has been tried before.  I am stronger than you know.  I work.  I have friends and family who love me.  You ought to try being nice for five minutes so you can have nice things in your life too.  REPENT.

About Maureen, Living in a Van

I'm a free-sleeper living in a van in the prettiest part of the world. I do this partly due to financial circumstances and partly because I love a good adventure.
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5 Responses to Restored!

  1. Tina says:

    I’m glad to hear you restored your blog. It’s a diary of your thoughts and travels along with tips for new van dwellers. Like you I hope to down the road live and travel in a van, maybe do some house and pet sitting. I very much enjoy following your blog so glad it’s all back : )


  2. Ryu says:

    Glad you’re back.

  3. Gypsy Purl says:

    Many bloggers think their posts are not read or they aren’t interested or no one cares,
    but I love to read your posts and have learned a lot from you. Keep writing and don’t give up and stay safe in your travels!

  4. Maureen says:

    Thanks new commenters Tina and Gypsy Purl.

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