Numbing Out

A friend and I were talking the other day about how, even if you aren’t on drugs or alcohol many of us (homeless and otherwise) numb out.  My friend says he numbs out unconsciously but somewhat purposely because “this” meaning homelessness, is not where he is meant to be and he numbs out so he doesn’t feel the pain.  I can relate to this.  We discussed how numbing out in any way is detrimental to our lives because it makes us forgetful (that’s how I lost my wallet) and unorganized, impeding progress. From this I conclude that I must not allow myself to zone out or escape too often.  The activities I use to zone out are the obvious ones like the internet (daily), reading books for entertainment rather than learning (daily-I flit from subject to subject, never committing to learning anything in depth), overeating (a few times a week) and occasionally (once or twice a month) drinking alcohol.  But I don’t have to be doing these things to zone out.  There are insidious ways it happens too that I’m only vaguely aware of such as, focusing on other people and their situations, ruminating on my problems rather than taking action and talking too much about nonsense or just talking to much in general. It’s ok to zone out sometimes (especially when the library is closed and it’s too dark to read) but I think I should only allow it as a reward when I have accomplished a goal. Have you ever broken a habit that has held you back?  Please share.

About Maureen, Living in a Van

I'm a free-sleeper living in a van in the prettiest part of the world. I do this partly due to financial circumstances and partly because I love a good adventure.
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2 Responses to Numbing Out

  1. geezer says:

    To answer your question directly , no , I still have my old bad habits , but then I can afford them.
    Can you afford yours? , is your “experiment in free sleeping” going to be your lifestyle?
    Only you can answer that

  2. Pingback: Staying Organized While Free-Sleeping (AKA Homeless) | Living in my Van

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