I can’t get motivated today. I’m overwhelmed by all my goals.
On the job front: I’ve been looking at some low grade telephone sales jobs that I could probably get but it would mean giving up what I currently do to get money. Telephone sales jobs used to be my go-to job when I couldn’t get anything else. Sometimes (usually) those sales jobs end up being shady or impossible to make money at, so not sure I want to go that route because I’ll quit if that happens and I won’t have ANY way to make money. I should probably resist the temptation to try for one of these jobs.
I guess I’ll leave my business cards for my little businsess on people’s doorsteps for about an hour or something. I think I can force myself to do that. It’s cozier to just stay in this coffee shop playing on the internet but SERIOUSLY!!!
I haven’t gotten up the courage to go talk to managers at some of the pharmacies in the area about working for them. (One of my nice readers suggested this.) I always have some reason for not going over. I tell myself my clothes are getting too shabby or my hair doesn’t look right (it needs to be cut.) One think that’s bad about living where I do is alot of people here have money so the women are constantly buying clothes, getting their hair done etc. I’m okay looking and most of the time I feel alright but some days, I feel like I should just hide in my van.
It seems very hard to find a middle ground sometimes where you aren’t obsessing over money and things but you are making enough money to keep your car fixed and keep YOURSELF fixed. I can see why some free-sleepers might turn to drugs and just drop out of society. Staying in the game in any capacity is hard work and takes a certain amount of courage. There’s just no way around it unless you were born to money. Even in that case, I suspect there is pressure to do something with yourself. Shoot, even if you drop out, hunger probably compels you to run around town finding free food. There’s just no end to it.
So, since I don’t want to do drugs, I guess I’m going to have to push myself A LOT more than I have been.
Thanks for listening to my free-thinking.