It’s been a heck of a week. Van was in the shop again. It was leaking fuel badly! Wasn’t too expensive to fix but I’m pretty broke now!
I will be working a bit this weekend and tonight I’m meeting with some good friends. I can’t wait!
J is moving back to Arizona. He was supposed to have left last night. Said he was sick of the cops bothering him here. He will fit in better in AZ as he’s kind of a cowboy, redneck type person (I mean that in a good way). I hope he will be happy there. He drove his van out there. He’s a good mechanic so he feels confident that if he breaks down, he’ll be able to get fixed up and on his way again. That’s so awesome!
A friend of mine got harassed yesterday for hanging around the coffee shop too long without a coffee cup in front of him. It is really sad that there is no public place where people can just BE without buying something. Money is the absolute GOD in this country.
I often wonder about the drug users. I suspect, although they may not be able to articulate it, that they have some of the same feelings I have had about working for jerks and whether it is worthwhile to kill yourself for the American dream.
Almost from Day One working in my late teens, I did not like working for other people. The “average citizen” might call this attitude…well, a “bad attitude”. If we probed further, the average Joe might say that people like me are “lazy”. What does lazy mean though? I mean, we all want to eat and wear clothes (I suppose…if we don’t want to be arrested). Maybe “lazy” just means we have faced the fear of being looked down on.
In my case, I face the fear of being looked down on (even hated) everyday. I don’t face it with courage but I deal with it. The druggies may (or may not) use drugs in order not to have to feel the fear. Or maybe they got on drugs WHILE they were working for “The Dream” then couldn’t stop.
There are also some that (I think) have faced the fear and said “fuck you” to society and do what they want in public. Everything from picking their nose, to yelling when they feel scared or angry. They are often called “crazy” but are they? Are they any crazier than a “normal” person who believes that there will be no social security for them when they retire, who has little or no savings yet still spends money like there’s no tomorrow on housing, newish cars, big screens, travel, etc. THAT’s crazy.
There is a part of me that admires The Crazy. They are in a different frame of mind.
I actually have yelled at cars a couple of times now. It would have seemed stupid or crazy to me in the past but that was before I almost got hit by cars a few times a day. It’s frustrating and scary when people leave a parking lot and don’t look BOTH ways and almost hit you. This happens to me a LOT. My frame is different now and it doesn’t seem inappropriate to me at all to yell at people who almost hit me.
J almost got hit the other day and he yelled at the woman (I saw this). She didn’t apologize to him…just put up her window so she couldn’t hear him. I guess he wasn’t important enough to listen to. Little does she know that gym only recently stopped working full time because of a major injury. People like J built this damn country and you are afraid of him apparently.
Maybe the economy is getting better but I’m not seeing it. If J is angry what’s going to happen when all these young people get a clue that their dead end job REALLY isn’t going anywhere and that they will never be able to have a family or ANYTHING? Maybe they will get into debt to get an education then not even be able to afford to pay it back because their jobs have been shipped to India. Maybe they will do more than yell at cars, maybe they will damage them or follow the owners home? Would anyone blame them? I wouldn’t.