Fear of Failure

I’ve been trying new things lately.  I’ve been paying for services to help me learn new things.  Today I found out I bounced a check for one of those things and I have to figure out how to fix it.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet but I’m realizing lately that one of the MAIN reasons I am a free-sleeper is because of a fear of failure.  Sure, as I mentioned before, I don’t want to work three jobs, just to keep a roof over my head.  BUT I’ve been realizing lately that there is more to this than meets the eye.

Because of a past failure, I have been afraid to invest too much mentally, physically or emotionally into new venture for fear it will all be for naught.  Now, to be fair, the world has become more difficult economically and if you have scruples it is not the easiest thing in the world to make money, be very honest in how you make your living AND be NOT be completely stressed out.

Still, there ARE people who have done well, some even quite well, using their brains and trying until they succeed.  They are my heroes.  I’m especially interested in people who have succeed financial on virtually NO capital.

Anyway…the check.  Ugh.  Not the first time I’ve come up short.  Another of my faults is being a slacker and not the cool kind.  And for a while now I’ve been on a cash basis but slipped into writing checks/using ATM card again.  The problem is, I forget to write the debits in my check register and I lose track.

SO, I can either just quit writing checks/using ATM or I can finally grow up and take care of my business.

It’s embarrassing to write about this.  I KNOW that I am not the only one my age that has trouble with finances but it’s cold comfort to me.  I know better.  I should be better.

It’s good that I’m writing about it though.  I’ve avoided my painful feelings about many things…for a long time.  Time to get real.

Thanks for reading.

About Maureen, Living in a Van

I'm a free-sleeper living in a van in the prettiest part of the world. I do this partly due to financial circumstances and partly because I love a good adventure.
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2 Responses to Fear of Failure

  1. Ryu says:

    Nothing to be ashamed of. You’re being honest.

    Most jobs DO go nowhere. Most businessman fail. Most poor do not become rich. These are real, human truths.

    Almost everything is for naught. You have to find something that’s yours. There’s no need to impress us with your ambition to become “sucessful.”

    Use your instincts. There is another side to the self help guru. What are they like when the cameras are off?

  2. geezer says:

    Sometimes , one needs to reflect , and decide if their ideal of success is the correct one to reach for……

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