Learning, Growing

I’ve been riding my bike a lot this week because Vinny the Van has been disabled.  A friend of mine is going to look at it and maybe fix it tomorrow.  Yay.

I have enjoyed most of the riding.  The only hard part is that my clients live relatively far away from each other so I end up running very late all day.  Stil, the weather here has been perfect.  Sunny and between 65-85 degrees during the day.  I am used to the traffic now.  It doesn’t scare the bejesus out of me like it used to.  I just pay attention.  People still drive like fools, but what are you going to do?

AND yesterday I knocked the chain off my bike and this morning I managed to get it back on, even though there’s a guard there.  I partially unfasten the guard to do it with a screwdriver.  It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, just messy.  I felt good about accomplishing this small task.  Next, I need to put on new brake pads…or something.

I have kept my little business together somehow in the last couple of weeks.  It hasn’t been easy but it’s so important to me.  I’m glad for my relative good health that allows me to do what I do.

Oh and the bus system.  CRAP.  Takes forever and have to deal with unhelpful busdrivers-with a couple of notable exceptions.  Really, bike riding is much faster though and that’s the important thing right now.

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Biker’s High

I joined the track team in high school.  I found running extremely boring though, probably because the effort of running didn’t allow me the ability to think and ponder like I’m apt to do.  AND for some reason I rarely if ever experienced the runner’s high everyone talks about.

BUT, I am discovering I DO experience a high when I ride my bike.  I think it comes about, not so much because of the exercise of pedaling but because biking in an urban environment is pretty darn dangerous and I get a mild rush from surviving it. It makes me feel alive.

The weather is still nice here and I am really enjoying being outside more.  I feel cooped up when I have to be inside too long.

I also love riding at night. I know, I know, the boogie man is going to get me, but I am actually safer at night when there are hardly any cars on the road. I stay in the good part if town where all the houses are rather than the businesses and bars and such. I actually don’t go out of my way to do this but it gets dark early around here and im not going to get it my van every night and stay there for 12 hours. Ugh.

Also, I went to the goodwill yesterday and bought a couple of shirts. I had forgotten though that I had left a shirt that I already owned balled up in my purse from when I had changed tops earlier in the day. I opened my purse to pay for my new shirts and there was the old shirt in there for the whole world to see.  I realized immediately that it didn’t look good,  looked like I had stolen a shirt and I had to think fast.  I said, “wow, that doesn’t look good!” and joked around with the clerk about it (a nice lady who I’ve exchanged pleasantries with before). I’m sure there are a lot of thefts from that store. The clerk just laughed with me….a little nervously, I’m sure she could get in trouble if she let a thief get away, and disaster was averted.  I shudder to think what might have happened if the clerk had been a person who spoke very little English. If they had noticed the shirt in my purse, I couldn’t have joked my way out of it and who knows, maybe I would have had to deal with police. Arg.  Sometimes life just gives you a break.

Today I’m going to get some computer time in plus I have a couple of small jobs. Busy, Busy. Still poor though!

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I am thinking about buying a used e-bike.  Electric bikes have pretty small batteries now, some of which can be charged in a regular electrical outlet in a half hour!

The main advantage to an e-bike would be an ability to go a little faster…consistently but I would still have the same problems with safety (many people around here don’t watch for bicyclers around here) and if we get a rainy season (it’s raining now, miraculously) it’s going to be cold, miserable and less safe.  Still, perhaps it could work until I get a better car.

Thoughts anyone?

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I’m feeling down again.  I am not mobile right now.  Bike riding and busing it everywhere.  I don’t mind it much except it makes me late for my appointments.

I’m saving a little money.  I have to hide it from myself because it burns a hole in my pocket.  My mom used to do the same thing.  Little envelopes usually, in secret compartments of her purse.  It’s ok unless you actually need the money and can’t find it.  Still, I’m not paying for gas right now for Vinny so that’s $240 right there that must be saved-NO EXCUSES.

Free-sleeping in my van used to feel edgy and fun, now it feels, not so great.  I need to remind myself though that it’s not the sleeping quarters that are the problem.  It is the lack of discipline to save money that is causing my heartache.  If I had a running vehicle, I would feel one hundred million times better.

Just need to SAVE that’s all.  And the more disciplined I am, the faster this will go right?


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I found myself playing chicken with a guy in a van today. I was riding my bicycle.  I didn’t plan to do it.  It happened fast. People don’t watch for bikers or pedestrians around here.  A number of them have been killed after being hit by cars.

I was in a crosswalk going straight LEGALLY when this truck comes very fast out of no where wanting to make a right turn….and looking at me signalling that he  wanted me to slow down so he could turn.  I guess I had had enough of rude drivers and I wouldn’t let him go flying through that turn unless he wanted to hit me. He tried turning in twice but I wasn’t budging.

I know, that is dangerous behavior but it was also kind of alright with me. Sometimes you have to take a stand.

Anyway, other than almost getting hit by a car a dozen or so times this week, I’ve actually enjoyed riding my bike almost everywhere. Sometime I also put my bike on the front of the city bus and take that.  It’s faster sometimes. The weather has been hot this week.  I don’t know if I will find it fun if it gets cold and/or rainy.

I’m still trying to build my business, one little thing at a time. I haven’t had as much library time lately (for internet usage) so when I get in there I trynot to waste time, just work.  Hopefully I will have a payoff someday.

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I’m still in the van. Tonight I woke up and there was an undercover cop across the street from me.  I should have kept my head down. He’s probably a narcotics cop or something so hopefully he won’t tell any of his buddies if he saw me. I’m so dumb.

Ryu made a comment after my last post about finding out of the way places to sleep. Interestingly, I found an empty apartment complex by accident yesterday.  Very interesting.



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One Foot in Front of the Other

Sorry that the comments are disabled right now but hopefully Mooch will be able to fix the problem soon.

I’m having a very tough time now. My van transmission appears to be finished.  My current plan is to Aaa tow it back to my go-to sleep spot and still use it to sleep in and pay a man a few bucks to move it for me every couple of days.

I have sought out temporary shelter and that is in the works but it is a two and a half hour bus ride each way, from where my clients live. I’m also guessing that they have rules for being “in house” by a certain hour and I’m not sure if I will be able to do it with my work schedule.

I may end up sleeping rough for a while.  I’m not sure how everything is going to play out.  I am stubborn, I don’t want to lose my little business and at the moment, I’m willing to sleep rough to keep it.  I may change my mind when it gets colder.

I’m also going to look for cheap rooms for rent at the laundromat. I can afford to pay maybe $400.

That’s all I have to say at the moment.  I’m a little low in the physical realm but still have good spirits. The sun is shining and I still have a a couple of aces up my sleeve.



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Risky Business

I’m not doing that great today but I’m sure it will pass. My van broke down and I don’t have much money to fix it.  I’m waiting for a friend to look at it tonight.  Yesterday I biked and bussed it all day and my body hurts.  Wow I probably need to give up sugar. I’m sure it is making things worse. I was afraid I’d have terrible bad back this morning from lifting my bike onto the bus rack but it’s not too bad. The worst part is that when the van broke down it was right in front of someone’s house. I almost slept outside last night because I was SO afraid someone would see me getting in the vann realize I’m sleeping in there and call the cops. I probably lay there for about an hour shaking and being startled by little noises. At one point I heard people talking and I imagined the neighbors outside waiting for the police to come and deal with my criminal self.  I have quite the imagination. I finally fell asleep and slept right through til morning.  Can’t complain, I guess.  Well by morning I mean 5:15. I wanted to be out of the van before daylight and before people started leaving for work. I also stashed my bike “in plain sight” the night before and thank goodness it was there in the morning. My body hurts but I feel glad to have gotten through the night.  Hopefully my van won’t need a new transmission or I’ll probably have to go live back east and live a normal life again.      I love my family back East but strangely enough I don’t want to leave this paradise even if it’s hard on me sometimes.

I am also supposed to go on an appointment today about housing for me. I REALLY hope it isn’t a waste of time because it is going to make my day even more difficult and I may even lose a client over it, which would not be good.

Thanks for reading.

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To achieve anything in life requires fight.  In some societies you have to fight just to stay alive.  In a “First World” society the fight is often against unseen, unnamed forces that don’t want you to succeed.  Even more importantly though, one must fight one’s own mind.  One must ignore the negative voices that say this or that can’t be done.  One must fight laziness and sloppiness.  One must fight to figure out what the highest priorities are and to work on them to completion even when the initial excitement of “the new” is gone.

These are the things I’m learning.

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Goals and more

Just checking in. It's amazing how just 3-4 months ago much of my free time was 
spent surfing the net.  Now almost 100% of my time on the internet is spent 
working on my (hopefully) money making projects.  
I' have goals now. I probably still need to narrow them down to a smaller group 
but I guess I'm hedging my bets.  I"m throwing a lot of things on the wall and 
the things that stick, I'll keep working on. I hope everyone understands that 
spaghetti cooking reference.  
One success I have had recently is I have been producing a monthly newsletter 
for a few months and yesterday I brought on an advertiser! She will pay my 
printing costs in exchange for my putting her ad in the newsletter. She also 
insisted on paying me to deliver the newsletters door to door.  So, this is a 
way to get a lot more exposure for my business with no money out of pocket. I'm 
excited about it.  If this goes well, I might even make money on the next 
So bad news...I'm still pretty broke.  I had a little scare with Vinny (my van) thinking that the transmission was about to go out for good.....BUT I just needs some transmission fluid!  YAY.  Still, it put "the fear of God" in me so I'm SURE that I will save some money so when the time comes, I WILL have money to fix Vinny.
Good news....I used to be embarressed about taking showers at the gym as a 
free-sleeper.  Now I don't give a hoot about who's noticing and what they think 
of me.  Who has time for that nonsense?
More good news?  I have hope.  It is seasoned with realism, of course.  I 
probably won't make millions any time soon but I may make enough to put a roof 
over my head by the end of 2015.  
A friend of mine coerced me into making a housing goal.  Into housing before the 
end,of 2015, I've told him.  Do you think I can do it?
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