Van

I was looking through some posts and realized that around a year ago I thought my van was on its absolute last leg and that I needed a new one.

Then, with under 2k my mom loaned me, I bought a car to drive around in, while still sleeping in the van at night.

If you’ve been reading a while you may remember that the darn car completely crapped out on me (transmission) within 3 months and I sold it for parts.

Well guess what?  My van is still running LIKE A CHAMP.  I’ve barely even put any money into it this year.  A couple of hundred dollars here and there.  It’s been totally worth it.  There are 211k miles on it now.  I wonder how much longer it can keep going.

PS.  Don’t tell anyone but I call my van Vinny.  I let Vinny know outloud that I appreciate his long service to me.  I think it helps him keep going.  :)

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Obsession

Happy!  I’m getting better at this website thing so I’m picking up some momentum.  Yay.  I feel like I could work on this particular website ALL NITE.  Alas, the library will close soon.

I LOVE when I get in the zone.  Work is effortless when that happens.  Hope it lasts!

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One Little Thing

I mentioned in a post yesterday that I think I need to plan to do just “one little thing” a day toward my new goals.  I’m reporting back that last nite and this morning I did one little thing.  It’s so weird how I have to trick my brain this way but when I have a long to do list and I want to get a LOT done in one day, I get overwhelmed and do nothing (except maybe blog a little here which isn’t nothing but it’s too EASY and at the moment, it doesn’t make me any money.

I guess I may as well mention.  I’m going to change this blog over to wordpress.org.  The reason I have to do this is then I can add plugins that will allow me to monetize this site.  What I will do is add advertisements and if people click on them and buy things, I will make money.

The original intent of this blog wasn’t to make money but if someone is going to buy a sleeping bag, other camping equipment, books etc. after being inspired and educated about free-sleeping  by this blog, why shouldn’t I make a little money from it?

It’s funny how I feel like I have to justify my wanting to make money isn’t it?  You don’t see google, yahoo etc. explaining themselves all the time and they make millions.

Still, I like to keep my reader/friends in the loop…letting you know what my thought process is.

Please feel free to share what you think and if I get the ads up (it’s going to take a while, I’m sure) I hope you will use them to buy your free-sleeping and camping gear.

 

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Power Surges

Power surge  is a euphemism for something I have begun to experience recently.  Hot flashes.  Something old ladies get.  Now I iz one.  Ugh.

In case you don’t know what a hot flash is, it’s something old ladies like me get that means I won’t be getting that time of the month much longer BUT what happens is, you are sitting there minding your own business when suddenly out of no where a wave of PURE FIRE washes over your body.  I haven’t timed it yet but I think it lasts a minute or two.  Some women sweat a LOT when they get the “power surge”.  So far, I have been spared that indignity.  Then when the flash passes you might get cold from the little (or lot) of sweat you made.

Nice huh?

It’s sort of interesting in a weird way.  I have always found my bodily changes interesting even if they make me ugly and uncomfortable.

I just wish the power surge were real.

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Balance Part 2

Eventually, I will learn the lesson.  You just can’t drive yourself past what you’re able to do.

I am still having trouble getting things done.  There just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to do the regular stuff people do like eat, shower, work regular job etc. AND do the stuff to move me forward.

I suppose I COULD do what I did when I first started my van experiment and start a new busines from NOTHING and just…make it work.

There’s a thought.  I could give up my storage and everything in it….my phone….my po box….etc.  so that I don’t have to work at the day job anymore.  I could eat with foodstamps and soup kitchen again.  Ugh.  I would still need insurance, gas etc. for my van though.  It is worth thinking about this now that I am learning ways to make money online (not sure if I told you guys about this yet or not.  More later).  I can use the library computers for free.  And start over.

It’s fun to think about.

I probably won’t do it though.  I’ve invested a good bit of time and energy into my little business.  I am not willing to give it up just yet.

But I might in the future if it keeps taking so much out of me.  It’s a physical job but as the gurus like to say…it’s not scalable.  This means, because the entire job is “all me” and my labor, there’s only so much money I can make at it.  There are only so many hours in the day and only so much time.

For now, the plan is to do a little bit everyday, even if it is next to nothing.  All those little “next to nothings” might add up to something eventually right?  And I suspect, if I start seeing some money come my way, I will feel more energetic right?

I feel energetic when I blog, just for fun.  I wish I could feel this energetic when I am working!  :)

 

 

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Stopped by Police

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWas driving home from a job last night and was stopped by two female cops because they “couldn’t read the numbers on my license plate”.  HA! 

I didn’t know it but there are two little lite bulbs near my license plate and they are out.  I’ll bet they haven’t been on since I bought the van over three years ago.  They also said my license plate is too dark with age which is also causing them to be unable to read the numbers on my license plate.  Well whose fault is that?  As much money as we pay to register our cars every year (not to mention the cost of keeping our car from polluting so we can pass the once every two year smog test) and they can’t give us a new plate once in a while?

Anyway, I can’t see why they need to read my plate number anyway since I drive perfectly (almost) and don’t do anything illegal.

My guess is once again, they want to see if the driver of the ugly van has any warrants for my arrest.  So I have to stop what I’m doing so cops can bother me.  By the way, they get between $75-90k a year to harrass innocent, middle aged women in this neck of the woods.  Nice huh?

The worse thing about this is, I am not required by law to answer their stupid questions that are none of their business but if I don’t answer them they can apparently put me in jail and who has time for that?

 

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Good News for LA California Free-Sleepers

Since June of this year, vehicle free-sleepers (otherwise knows as homeless people that live in their cars, trucks or vans) are no longer breaking the law by sleeping.  WOW thanks for letting us breathe.  But seriously, even though you shouldn’t need permission to sleep in your personal property, you have it now, if you reside in Los Angeles.  I hope other counties follow suit.

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Resting

I’ve been house-sitting lately and I don’t have a good internet connection so I am forced to relax and watch movies for a while. I also have a couple of library books out that I could read. I suppose I should do that.

I’ve been playing the housing game again lately with an agency and I’m becoming more willing to look at various options.

The reason for this is because I have goals and I have a plan for reaching them but my day to day situation is making it difficult.

As always, there will be conditions. I’m not sure if I will be able or willing to abide by them. We will see. Maybe if it’s crazy enough I will give it a go and use it for fodder for a book.

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Balance

I’m doing better today.

As Ryu said a couple of days ago, the body seeks balance and I was out of balance.

It is ok to get motivated but emotions need to be kept in check or it’s like being on a roller-coaster.  The upswings is fantastic, the downhill is potentially tragic.

“Slow and steady wins the race” and “Rome was not built in a day” come to mind.

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Failure

Today, you all get to be my pyschologists.  I need to lie on the therapist couch (figuratively) and let you help me.  I’m sure it will help just writing things out.

I felt HORRIBLE all morning.  I didn’t drink any alcohol last night so I can’t blame it on that.  (Sometimes I feel depressed the morning after having drinks)  Maybe I don’t like weekends when things aren’t structured, I don’t know.  Anyway, I was grouchy all morning, in a panic because I got side-tracked yesterday and got very little writing done AND also, feeling overwhelmed by all the things I want to do today.  I have a hard time remembering all the stuff (and I have LISTS all over the place-yikes) I want to do and I also have a hard time prioritizing.  What should I do first. 

I need to figure this out or I will have to work for someone who will figure out my day for me.  THAT’s not what I want.  It’s not like I’m going to get a great, high paying job at this point. 

ALSO,   my confidence is ALREADY starting to flag.  Pathetic.  How long have I been on a roll?  A month or so?  And already I’m crapping out?  Not acceptable.  I had all these plans about how I was just going to DO IT, even if it’s risky and even if I make mistakes.  And this morning I felt scared.  I don’t want to make mistakes.  I don’t want to work really hard, then fail.  It’s easier to just not try isn’t it?  Then I can say, well I never wanted to be successful anyway.  (Yeah right, who doesn’t want to be successful in some way or other?)

Well, I guess I know the answer to all this.  Just do SOMETHING and it will probably (hopefully) spur me on to the next thing.  I need to ignore the fear.  It is natural but if I let it stop me I will be as cowardly as the drug addicts in the park lying under a tree.  I’ve already decided that THAT is not the life for me.  Too boring.  SO, if I want to have stimulating work, and I don’t want to work for others, this is my only course.  I really don’t have a choice.  So here goes!

 

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